


Birthday Whacks

by the-reylo-void (Anysia)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Birthday Party, Crack, F/M, Force Bond, General Shenanigans, Kylo Ren is a whiny baby, Pinatas, Rey is a delight, Reylo if you squint, with wonderful friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:48:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anysia/pseuds/the-reylo-void
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey's never really had a birthday, but the Resistance is about to change that. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Resistance pilots have a wry sense of humor, and Rey finds herself facing her very first piñata... in a very familiar shape. [total tongue-in-cheek crack, inspired by Tumblr]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Birthday Whacks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [morgaine2005](https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgaine2005/gifts).



> This is what happens when a Tumblr mutual finds a Kylo Ren piñata at the store on the same day you're laid up with a sprained ankle and heavy pain meds. I regret nothing.

“Aim a little higher, Rey!”

 

Rey grinned at the sound of Finn’s cheering voice, twisting the stick in her hands.

 

Birthdays were a new thing to her — she’d given herself an unofficial one on Jakku, but there’d been very little to celebrate, just another hot, dusty day spent crawling through the guts of Star Destroyers and going to bed hungry.

 

Finn wasn’t much better — he hadn’t even had a _name_ , much less a birthday, but oh, how Poe had fixed them both with gentle eyes, met quietly with the General behind closed doors, and well, before she knew it, Rey found herself surrounded by cheering X-wing pilots, wearing a paper hat and playing “Pin the Antenna on BB-8,” Poe clapping Finn on the back and declaring him “next”.

 

(And they’d brought her _cake_. She’d never seen a cake, didn’t even know what it _was_ , and everyone was far too polite to tell her not to eat it with her hands.)

 

It had been a strange day, made even stranger when one of the younger pilots had grinned and hauled out Rey’s “special surprise,” a swell of raucous laughter rising up from the assembled crowd as they hoisted a heavy black thing to the ceiling.

 

“What… _is_ that?” Rey had asked, eyes widening as she took in a brutally-familiar mask in a thick silhouette.

 

“It’s a piñata,” the young pilot explained. “Thing’s made of paper and stuffed with candy. You get blindfolded, we spin you around, and we take turns hitting it with a stick until it busts open.”

 

“…huh.” Rey blinked owlishly at him.

 

They’d all grinned and handed her the stick, insisting that she should “get the first whack” at Kylo Ren.

 

“Already did,” she’d grinned, but allowed Finn to slip the blindfold over her eyes and gently give her a few turns.

 

_Alright, you monster, take **this**._

 

And _maybe_ it was cheating to use the Force, but she swung and connected hard, right across the piñata’s mask.

 

There was a roaring cheer from the assembled pilots, and Rey grinned, hoisted the stick for another swing when…

 

_**OW.** Ow. Kriff._

 

Rey’s eyes widened behind her blindfold, and her hands went lax around the stick.

_…ow. Yeah. Yeah, That’s broken. Right on the kriffing scar, too, what the—_

**…Kylo Ren.**

 

_…scavenger. Of course. What are you doing?_

 

**…it’s my birthday. I’m hitting the… thing.**

 

_…the thing?_

 

**The thing! It’s paper and full of candy. The pilots got it for me.**

 

_…you’re hitting a piñata?_

**Well I’m TRYING to, if you’d stop interrupting.**

_…this piñata wouldn’t happen to have my **kriffing face on it** , would it? Because that would explain why I’m pretty sure I have a broken nose right now._

 

**Not my fault I’m a good shot. Or that you’re not wearing your mask.**

 

_It’s the middle of the night here. I was **sleeping** , until I woke up to someone **hitting me across the kriffing face with a kriffing STICK**._

 

**How was I supposed to know that was going to happen?!**

 

_Are you sorry?_

 

**Of COURSE I’m not!**

 

(Finn exchanged a long glance with Poe as Rey’s expression rapidly shifted, her hands tight around the stick as she seemed to be having an intense conversation with herself.

 

“Should we… wake her up or something?” Finn asked carefully.

 

“Uh…”)

 

**Does that mean if I break this thing open it’ll kill you?**

 

_Possibly. I’d be much obliged if you would **not.**_

 

**I’D be much obliged if you would STAY OUT OF MY HEAD.**

 

_I’m not the one who woke you up with a **stick to the face**._

 

**Oh, you’ve had worse, REN.**

 

_Yes, **from you.**_

 

(”Maybe we should just… take over? They put really, really good candy in that thing. I watched them.”

 

“Will she kill me if I try to take the stick?”

 

“…I guess we can find out.”)

 

**Look, I’m NOT sorry if you’re injured, I’m NOT sorry that you’re in pain, and I’m NOT SORRY to tell you to SOD OFF and let me spend my birthday with people who care about me!**

 

_Tense, aren’t you?_

 

**Go. Away.**

 

_Is that what you want?_

 

**YES. Just LEAVE ME—**

 

“Incoming!”

 

Rey ducked as she was showered with hundreds of small projectiles, roughly ripping off her blindfold and looking up in mute horror as the piñata dropped down to her.

 

It was broken clean in half.

 

“Grab some, Rey!” she distantly heard Poe say, grinning and hefting the stick over his shoulder. “You know you can take whatever you want.”

 

She was surrounded by cheering pilots, hands grabbing for candy, and she desperately ducked into her mind, _searching_ …

 

**Kylo?**

 

Nothing.

 

**Kylo, can you hear me?!**

 

Silence.

 

Her heart was beating fast as she dove headfirst into the stream of her consciousness, frantically searching, seeking out that familiar dark tendril of his…

 

A dark chuckle rose up at the back of her mind.

 

Dark, low, but bubbling over into full-throated laughter.

 

**…you absolute son of a BITCH.**

 

_Pleasant. And here I thought you liked my mother._

 

**I thought you were DEAD!**

 

_You’d know if I were. Would it bother you?_

 

She hesitated just a second too long.

 

Didn’t answer.

 

She felt the press of a phantom hand at her shoulder, the barest suggestion of a squeeze, and if she closed her eyes she could almost feel a faint brush of lips against her cheek.

 

_Happy birthday, Rey. Until next time._

 

And then he was gone, and Rey felt suddenly cold, her heart beating clear out of her chest.

 

“Rey?”

 

There were dozens of pairs of eyes staring at her, worried, appraising, Finn and Poe and the pilots and so many people who cared about her, assembled for her birthday, and Rey smiled, took the armfuls of candy they handed her and joined them for the rest of the party.

 

(If her fingertips brushed her cheek once or twice, she convinced herself it was just an itch she couldn’t quite scratch.)


End file.
